in the pursuit of...

Lately, I've been a little down in the dumps. I feel like this month has put me on an emotional roller coaster with no means of escape. My poor husband. At the end of the day I catch myself thinking, "Oh goodness, how does this man handle me!" To be fair, I've been under an intense amount of stress. ;) Being a 20 something year old can be tough. I feel like I'm in the process of making these huge, life altering decisions and I'm constantly questioning myself as to whether or not the path I'm following is the right one. How do we know? Do we follow our hearts or our minds? Because let me tell you, my heart and mind are in constant debate. They rarely agree.

I've been talking a lot to my grandfather about life. It's meaning. And what he's learned. I love talking to my grandparents. They always give me this sense of awareness I can't find anywhere else. They are so grounded and speak with such wisdom.

I have always been so concerned with the prosperity of my professional career that I sometimes feel it keeps me from living in the moment. I'm always thinking about the future. And although it's good to do that, I'm learning that I need to find more of a balance. I need to learn how to enjoy the journey. And holy cow, it's so much harder than it sounds. I'm what I like to call a "worry-er." Maybe it's because I'm the oldest sibling, who knows. But I worry. Even about silly things.

So this is me, trying to find balance in a very complex, complicated world.

I stumbled upon this article a while back and it really inspired me. An Australian nurse compiled the top regrets of her dying patients. The list is as follows:

1.) I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected from me 
2.) I wish I hadn't worked so hard
3.) I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings
4.) I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
5.) I wish that I had let myself be happier

here is the link to the article...

At the end of the day we have a choice. We can choose to be happy and proactive. Or we can choose to be boggled down by imaginary expectations and create our own madness. I choose to be happy. That's what I want to be when I grow up. Happy.